Christmas Blog

Merry Christmas to anyone reading this (stealing a few moments away from the family like me). I'd include some suitably festive photographs, but I didn't bring the USB cable for my phone, and the bluetooth on my parents laptop does work, so they'll have to wait until I get back to the flat. Also waiting until I get back to the flat is introspection and a review of the year I've had (New Year's Eve seems a good time to post it, if I get around to it at all) but I hope you've all had an enjoyable and rewarding year

Christmas presents this year cross off another of those items on my "I should really get.." list that I never quite seem to get as far as making decisions on (this is mostly large items - car, house, etc, but also includes smaller items). Mum and Dad got me an espresso maker. I need all the assistance I can get to get up on a morning.

Anyway - back to the festivities, even though I don't live here any more, I've got to play the good host.

The Morph

Someone said to me today, "you're morphing into a manager". It says something about the culture (and management) at my company that a) this is something that can be said of me (I wouldn't say "managing" is what I'm doing at the moment, coping... hanging on for dear life.. something like that) and b) this isn't intended to be a compliment.

But it does raise some interesting complexities that, I imagine, all manager types face. I think the comment was basically that I was being too "on message" and not nearly cynical enough. It just happens that I do believe in the potential for, and power of, positive change. But in many ways, it doesn't matter what I actually think. People look to me for leadership and guidance, whether they admit it or not. I'm supposed to be the guy with the answers, and if I admit to doubts then this only reinforces their own. I must act to counterbalance rather than amplify any anxiety and concern, regardless of my own level of comfort. It doesn't mean dishonesty, or relentless false cheer, this is counter productive in that it destroys trust. It means "managing my message" or somesuch empty sounding phrase. It means I must make an effort to point out the things that are going right. But this doesn't come easy for me... I'm a natural cynic.