More Singleton Angst
(disclaimer for the previous post: With my slapper-in-club comment I don't mean to imply that all women in clubs are pissed out of their minds, or all slappers. Nor no I mean that relationships formed in clubs are in any way less valuable or less likely to be successful than those formed elsewhere. And if you pick someone up in a club and take her home, then that’s great and I hope you get what you're looking for... it's just not my style, that’s all.)
Buried between all the other stuff in my previous post lies what is perhaps one of the main reasons I'm a professional single. I've never made the first move, nor am I likely to any time soon. The reasons for this vary with the seasons of my psyche just as everything else does, but basically it comes down to this: I'm afraid of rejection, and almost as scared of success.
My irrational thought processes follow the path that the object of my affection (themselves relatively few and far between) is bound to reject me, and if she doesn’t, it’s clearly because she thinks I’m something I’m not. I therefore couldn’t possibly live up to being whatever it is she wants me to be. It would be cruel of me to deceive someone like that, so I don’t give them the chance. I don’t believe I’m what they need, so I save them from the mistake of believing I am.
I want very much to be the perfect boyfriend, but since perfection is unobtainable I’m doomed to failure. I’m strongly of the opinion I’m not even close. And since I can’t tolerate failing, I don’t try. - An attitude I mock in other people. I hate how hypocritical I am too sometimes.
My mum always said I’d need a strong willed girl to set out to get me, and do all the running. This is pretty accurate, but since I’m clearly not the sort of man who attracts girls like that, I’m probably going to a singleton for a while yet.
Buried between all the other stuff in my previous post lies what is perhaps one of the main reasons I'm a professional single. I've never made the first move, nor am I likely to any time soon. The reasons for this vary with the seasons of my psyche just as everything else does, but basically it comes down to this: I'm afraid of rejection, and almost as scared of success.
My irrational thought processes follow the path that the object of my affection (themselves relatively few and far between) is bound to reject me, and if she doesn’t, it’s clearly because she thinks I’m something I’m not. I therefore couldn’t possibly live up to being whatever it is she wants me to be. It would be cruel of me to deceive someone like that, so I don’t give them the chance. I don’t believe I’m what they need, so I save them from the mistake of believing I am.
I want very much to be the perfect boyfriend, but since perfection is unobtainable I’m doomed to failure. I’m strongly of the opinion I’m not even close. And since I can’t tolerate failing, I don’t try. - An attitude I mock in other people. I hate how hypocritical I am too sometimes.
My mum always said I’d need a strong willed girl to set out to get me, and do all the running. This is pretty accurate, but since I’m clearly not the sort of man who attracts girls like that, I’m probably going to a singleton for a while yet.
posted by Sarum at
Saturday, January 15, 2005
2 Comments:
"My mum always said I’d need a strong willed girl to set out to get me, and do all the running"
Dom wouldn't ask girls out either, he managed to get chased ;)
Dont worry too much - I'm probably as bad as you. I would agree that I tend to wait until I know someone. Although I'd like to pretned I make the first move in reality I probably wait for at least some minor interest - or I'm very drunk and dont know what I'm doing, and probably not thinking! Must admit getting better now, a fraction more decisive, a little less petrified and more easy going. But think I also need a strong willed girl!
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