The Quiet Man
Disclaimer: the text below isn't guaranteed to make sense, be logical, rational, based in reality, have a straight line of thought, a destination or a point. It's not a reasoned argument, it's simply badly spelt thoughts as they happen.
Whatever happened to Honour? To Dignity and Respect? We lost them in the "Thatcherite" years. I'll not blame the Iron Lady herself, she merely represented the thinking of an entire generation, but since then we're expected to be ambitious, self centred, self promoting and self sufficient. If you're not busy aiming for the next rung on half a dozen different ladders (the pay scale, the property ladder, a bigger car and better clothes, and so on) and shouting to everyone who doesn't want to listen about your achievements so far, its assumed you don't have any. If you don't shout about what you want, it's assumed you don't want anything. If you quietly do the right thing, nobody notices. If you don't lament all your problems to the nearest unwilling ear, you don't have any.
The paradox of a generation: we live in over crowded cities, travel on overcrowded roads and trains, work in huge office blocks packed with people and communicate with half a phonebook of people on a daily basis, and yet, as one, we feel so alone. It's us against the world, but it's precisely our determination to beat the world that has pitted it against us. We crave recognition and praise, but our determination to achieve this for ourselves means we rarely stop to give it to others.
Can we learn to appreciate a quiet sense of our duty to other people? Shouting about human rights, animal rights, consumer rights, women’s rights, and any of a whole number of other "rights" isn't "doing the right thing". Telling all the world loudly that you're being selfless and helping your fellow man every time you do something even vaguely for someone other than yourself isn't being selfless. Selfless is doing the right thing and expecting no reward, no recognition, and no thanks, just the private knowledge you did the right thing.
I'm not perfect, far from it. I don't stop to lend a helping hand to a stranger in need nearly as often as I should. I don't even feel like I stop to lend a hand to those I call friends as often as I might. But like everyone else, I want recognition for the things I do do. I don't want to have to point it out to you every time I do something, but I do want you to notice. I don't want to tell you all the problems I've faced, what I've quietly sacrificed in the name of "the right thing", what I've lost, what I've endured... but I do want you to realise that there probably are things in all these categories. My life could be far worse, but just because I don't appear to have any problems, doesn't mean I don't.
I don't want to tell you who I am. But I do want you to know. And the stupidity of that is clear even to me.
Whatever happened to Honour? To Dignity and Respect? We lost them in the "Thatcherite" years. I'll not blame the Iron Lady herself, she merely represented the thinking of an entire generation, but since then we're expected to be ambitious, self centred, self promoting and self sufficient. If you're not busy aiming for the next rung on half a dozen different ladders (the pay scale, the property ladder, a bigger car and better clothes, and so on) and shouting to everyone who doesn't want to listen about your achievements so far, its assumed you don't have any. If you don't shout about what you want, it's assumed you don't want anything. If you quietly do the right thing, nobody notices. If you don't lament all your problems to the nearest unwilling ear, you don't have any.
The paradox of a generation: we live in over crowded cities, travel on overcrowded roads and trains, work in huge office blocks packed with people and communicate with half a phonebook of people on a daily basis, and yet, as one, we feel so alone. It's us against the world, but it's precisely our determination to beat the world that has pitted it against us. We crave recognition and praise, but our determination to achieve this for ourselves means we rarely stop to give it to others.
Can we learn to appreciate a quiet sense of our duty to other people? Shouting about human rights, animal rights, consumer rights, women’s rights, and any of a whole number of other "rights" isn't "doing the right thing". Telling all the world loudly that you're being selfless and helping your fellow man every time you do something even vaguely for someone other than yourself isn't being selfless. Selfless is doing the right thing and expecting no reward, no recognition, and no thanks, just the private knowledge you did the right thing.
I'm not perfect, far from it. I don't stop to lend a helping hand to a stranger in need nearly as often as I should. I don't even feel like I stop to lend a hand to those I call friends as often as I might. But like everyone else, I want recognition for the things I do do. I don't want to have to point it out to you every time I do something, but I do want you to notice. I don't want to tell you all the problems I've faced, what I've quietly sacrificed in the name of "the right thing", what I've lost, what I've endured... but I do want you to realise that there probably are things in all these categories. My life could be far worse, but just because I don't appear to have any problems, doesn't mean I don't.
I don't want to tell you who I am. But I do want you to know. And the stupidity of that is clear even to me.
posted by Sarum at
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
4 Comments:
Oddly enough, that last big paragraph sums up about half of my appraisal last week.
Not sure I'd agree with you that it's Thatcher's fault. I'd tend to lay the blame at Eighties California myself - everything that happens there affects the rest of the States a few years later, then us a few years after that.
Problem is, how to "change things back" to how they should be. If everyone's shouting "Me me me", you're only going to be heard if you shout louder - doing the right things quietly won't be noticed at all.
Personally, I think we've sidestepped the natural controls on our population limits. There are now far too many of us, and we're seeing some of the side-effects of that. I'm not sure I like what that suggests as solutions though.
Either that, or our society has now reached its teenage years. Look at the way it's behaving - doesn't much of what you describe sound like a 13-year-old's behaviour? In this instance, I wonder if we'll make it past the "accident hump".
I didn't say I blamed Thatcher personally, just that in many ways she came to symbolise the "survival of the strongest" approach to living our lives. Certainly for us Brits anyway.
And yes, I think "spoilt brat" is how I'd describe the way society as a whole behaves. I think its strange that, individually, most people are nice enough, reasonably caring, honest and the rest. However, the actions of society as a whole appear to be very greedy, self centered and dishonest. How a group of nice people end up being not all that nice when taken as a whole, I'm not sure.
I'm not sure "going back" is necessarily what I want. I'm not sure society has ever had it right, this is just another permutation of "wrong". There was certainly plenty of stuff wrong with society pre-1980, some of which we've since fixed.. we've just found ourselves new problems.
I don't think going back is ever really an option. For anything, when something is said or done then that's it. You can't change it.
However, I have a solution. Baby-licences. But that's a little 1984 I'm sure (I'd be surer if I read the book...)
I think the guy two floors up from the other department in your office isn't really going to make notes when you selflessly hold the door open for him. However when it comes to family, friends, and colleague then they do tend notice when you lend a hand, but repay by lending thier own hands later rather than saying "I'm glad you did this totally selfless act you kind and generous person" :)
In regards to the world at large then I think "greedy" acts are simply reported far more. Everyone knows america wants iraq oil, but what about the aid charities trying to help xyz country? There's no hour long specials on tv about aid workers literally risking thier lives to bring food to people. Except perhaps at comic relief where everyones guilty conscience is cleaned for another year.
Not knowing exactly who someone is makes them interesting, if we knew everything what would be the point in trying to get to know you ? :)
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